I didn't speak to either Don or my mother when we arrived home on Thursday evening, I just put Don's credit card on the kitchen bench and headed down to my room to do my homework, I was not going to let them think I was distracted in any way. I fell asleep that night still extremely angry and I carried that angry with me into Friday morning. Tess and I were eating breakfast when Don walked into the dinning room.
"Thank you for returning my card Zoey, I hope you found a beautiful dress to wear tonight" He said, trying to sound as upbeat as he can, as if the day before's conversation had never taken place.
"I did, thank you" I replied, curtly, I may be angry but I am still polite to my parents, it's a fight and I know we will eventually move past it and be good again.
"Zoey, Your mother and I are very sorry about yesterday, we never wanted to upset you or make you think that Angus isn't good enough, like Tess pointed out, we need to trust you more" He explains, "This is all new ground for us too and we're kinda learning as we are going along" He continues.
I can't stay mad at them, they were concerned and worried and I've just got to show them they have nothing to worry about.
"Im sorry too Don, I love you and Mum too and I'm sorry I yelled. I just want you both to know though that I won't let anything distract me, not even Angus, I know what my goals are for this year and I'm going to achieve them, trust me" I can feel that I'm getting worked up again, pleading with Don to see that I can do this, distraction free
"I know you can sweetie, we know you can and we trust you. We talked it over after you left yesterday and agree that it's ok if you stay at Angus' apartment but it comes with conditions and this now goes for you both" He informs us, Don is often sent in alone to set the rules for us, Mum is way too soft for that and knows that we would bulldoze her power...well Tess would anyway
"What new laws has sheriff Lothario come up with this time" Tess groans
"Nothing too big, we know you girls are growing up, soon you'll be young adults, out in the world and we don't want to be the big bad parents coming down on you and making life hard but we also don't want you to fail your final year of school and either need to repeat it or be working at Chez Llama forever so we've come up with a social plan, not just for boyfriends but for friends too, until the end of the school year social activities can only be done on Friday and Saturday nights, this includes staying at Angus or Declan's house" He explains to us
"What about the gym?" I ask nervously, please don't stop us from going to the gym.
"You can still attend the gym because it's a great stress reliever and you can still go to Cassie's house to study but no week day parties or dates, do you think we can work with that girls" He asks with trepidation, as if he's about to run on top of a landmine
Tess and I exchange looks and nod
"Yes Don" Tess says, then adds "And Mum who is no doubt hiding in the kitchen"
Mum comes running into the dining room and kisses us both on the head.
"Thank you Donnie and girls, you know I hate confrontation" she exclaims
My mother and I have that in common.
"Now come along girls, I'll drop you to school on my way to work" Don offers
"What about my dress? It will get crushed if I take it in my bag and even if I leave it at Chez Llama all day it will then get crushed on the train to the gym" I only just realised Im going to have to bring my dress with me, as well as an overnight bag and my gym clothes. It's way too much to carry around school and on the train.
"Ok, quick detour, we drop your dress and overnight bag with Angus and then onto school" Don exclaims
I call Angus to warn him we are doing a drop off, in case he was still in bed.
"I just got back from my run" He tells me when he answers
"it's 7am and freezing outside, how can you run in this weather? At this hour?" I ask
"Ah I'm a personal trainer, it's the only time I do get to run and the sun rise was beautiful this morning" he claims
"I saw it from our dinning room table as I ate my eggs" I exclaim proudly
We drop the dress and bag off and head to school.
The day is moving so slowly, Mr Landraab gives his "this is your most important year" 3 more times today and he even threw in this his other line "every moment counts". If every moment counts then why was he wasting our time with these endless speeches of how we need to study hard, how every day counts. Just let us get through the next five months without the pressure of telling us how "this is the year that will decide your futures" I swear that man never gets tired of hearing himself speak.
Cassie has her town car drive us to the gym that afternoon and even our session drags on, full of squats and weights and now he throws in the step work. It just seems endless. Finally it's down to our last 5 minutes and we have cool down time and then we are done. Cassie, Tess and I run off to the showers where we wash the sweat off and they go about making me pretty for my date. Make up is Cassie's department, she has a way of making it look like you were born with chiseled cheek bones and smokey eyes and Tess comes in with the hair styling and making the dress sit "just right" as she calls it. My dress is a red, satin strapless masterpiece. Tess and Cassie tell me it fit perfectly "in all the right place" whatever that means. We exit the shower block and Angus is waiting for me, his eyes gowned when he takes in what I'm wearing, "you look amazing" he say, absolutely flawed
I say goodbye to Cassie, Declan and hug Tess, who whispers in my ear "you look beautiful sis, just remember if you don't want to do anything then that's ok"
On our way out the door I hear Annabelle call me back to her "Zoey you look gorgeous, are you going out tonight" she asks
"I am, my boyfriend is taking me out tonight" I tell her
"Well he's a lucky guy, is he picking you up?" She asks suspiciously as she is watching Angus hover by the door, smiling to himself
"He lives near here so I'm just going to walk to his apartment" I explain, it's not a lie either.
"Oh no, you can't walk alone" She exclaims "Angus, be a good man and walk Zoey to her boyfriend's apartment, I believe you're going in that direction anyway" She winks at me and Angus comes up behind me and whispers in my ear "Zoey, she knows, she has known from the day you first arrived here"
"But I thought we couldn't tell anyone here?" Im so confused, he laid out the rule but he broke it himself
"Annabelle is one of my best friends, we've known each other since the 2nd grade, I tell her everything" He explains
"We just don't share that information with the others who work her" Annabelle assures me "but I am happy for you Zoey and you too Gus" She smiles at us and we leave.
Angus and I walk to his apartment where he showers and washes away the day. He comes out looking mighty fine and there's a small part of me that doesn't want to go out, I want just stay in, with him and enjoy the privacy but I know we can't do that, we have to venture out into the world together.
Angus takes me to one of the finest dining place I've ever experienced, I have a lamb rack that just melts in my mouth and Angus have a grilled chicken great with veggies. Over dinner he tells me how his sister is plans to return in the next few weeks and how excited he is to introduce us but how he fears she will "steal me away from him" because of our love for Grey's Anatomy and how re-watch season is upon us, I promise him that no one could steal me away from him and he beams.
"Why do some people call you Gus? I know it's short for Angus but do you prefer it? Do you want me to call you Gus too?" I ask him after our table has been cleared
"I'd rather you didn't actually" he says with a smile and then further explains himself "My Father's name was also Angus and as I was named after him I got called Gus growing up and I secretly hate it, Immie calls me Gus because thats who I am to her, her much younger brother Gus and Annabelle is the only friend I'd ever be comfortable with calling me Gus because she's my oldest friend and that was how she knew me when we were 7 year olds"
"Have you and Annabelle ever...um..." I know what I want to ask but the words won't come out.
"Have we ever dated? Is that your question" He pushes me, I nod my head, "No, Annabelle has always been like a sister to me, my parents died when I was 12, their car was hit by a drunk driver and they both died on impact. Imogen raised me from that point on and Annabelle just became like a rock to me, she's seen me through some pretty dark times, she was always there but there has never been a moment when either of our had feelings for the other" He assures me.
"Im sorry" I apologise
"For what" he ask, a confused look on his face.
"I feel silly for even asking it and now I've made you bring up the painful memories of your parents dying and I feel awful" I explain. He reaches his hand across the table and takes mine.
"Zoey don't feel bad, these are just normal 'getting to know you' questions that people on dates ask, you have every right to know if I ever had a relationship with Annabelle and as for my parents, it's ok, I'm ok talking about it now, I will admit that it did screw me up a bit in my teenage years but I want to share everything with you, the good and the bad and I want you to feel you can do the same with me" He squeezes my hand "You can ask me anything"
"Your ex girlfriend...?" I ask nervously
"Steph?" He offers up her name
"You and Steph? How long were you together? Was it serious?" I know he said I could 'ask anything' but this might be pushing it.
"I met Steph in high School, she and Annabelle were really good friends, still are actually. We started dating when we were 16, we were together for 4 years, After we graduated high school she went to university and I went to a trade school, I wanted to be a carpenter. We moved in together, to a small apartment in San Myshuno and we adopted a dog together, Nortica, Steph still has her too but she'd be getting old now, we found her as an adult, she was a stray". He stops talking and smiles to himself but then continues "I was different back then, I was chubby and would drink a lot, I wasn't a good boyfriend to Steph, I didn't cheat but I was really insecure and I pretty much pushed Steph and Brian together" There's sadness in his voice.
"How did you go from being insecure to becoming so confident?" I ask because I can't imagine Angus ever being insecure.
"I joined the Skye Gym two years ago, not long after the break up and I started working out with my trainer, Justin and he did not go easy on me at all but he taught me how to build my confidence. I stopped drinking for a while and now only have the occasional lite beer, like when I'm trying to hit on that girl at the Stargazer last Friday night" He explains
"How did work out for you with that girl?" I ask coyly
"She came back to my apartment...and then passed out on my couch so I carried her to my sister's bed, put the blanket around her and kissed her on the forehead. She looks beautiful when she sleeps but she also talks in her sleep when she's drunk" He laughs
"Oh no, what did I say?" I ask, embarrassed
"It was mostly just mumbled nonsense but you did say my name and mention that I was hot" He tells me and I go bright red, "Don't worry baby, I tell myself in my sleep how hot I am every night" He jokes
"Yeah, you're not insecure at all" I laugh
The restaurant starts to become empty by 8pm but I know I'm not ready for this night to end yet and I'm hoping he doesn't either.
"Do you wanna go to the karaoke bar near my place? We can dance there" He asks as if he's reading my mind.
"I'm not that good at dancing" I inform him
"It's all good baby, I'll lead, you'll be all good with me" He promises
"I know I will be" I reply and we both know Im not just talking about dancing.
We drive back to his apartment, park the car in the under ground garage and walk to the karaoke bar. It's packed with people who want to get drunk on a Friday night and belt out their favourite song....some better than others but still everyone is just there to have fun and the room feels electric.
"Drink?" Angus shouts over the singer butchering "Summer of '69", I nod my head and go to offer him money but he won't have it, "You're my girl, I got this", he orders me a vodka soda and a coke for himself.
"You're not having the lite beer tonight" I ask
"Nah, I'm good" he replies and we take our seats at the bar. I'm surprised to see so many people dancing and it makes me a little bit nervous too that he's going to drag me out there, in front of all these skilled dancers and I'm just so clumsy.
"They won't even notice you, I promise baby" He assures me, reading my mind again.
"How do you always know what I'm thinking?" I ask him, curiously.
"I read the expression on your face, it tells me what you're thinking most of the time. Remember I'm a former insecure kid myself, I can relate" He informs me.
"What if I'm bad? What if I fall?" My mind is ticking over with all the things that could go wrong
"Then no-one will care. You think all these people started out so good?" He laughs as he takes my hand and leads me on to the dance floor, just as a new singer takes the mike and starts singing "Rolling in the Deep". He pulls me in close to him, takes me by the waist and we start dancing slowly.
"Dancing is a lot like sex" He informs me and I feel myself start to blush
"Well I have little experience with one of those activities and none at the other so maybe you'll need to explain that too me" I tell him
"Well both sex and dancing can be performed in different styles. Like us now, slow, steady, taking our time, savouring every moment" He moves his hand further down my waist, "It can be passionate, fiery, it can go for hours" He arches me into a dip and pulls me back up to meet his eyes and continues "It can also be fast, hot and sweaty, over before it began. It can get complicated, adding in too many moves and it can be angry, fierce"
He spins me out, never letting go of my hand and I come back to him with ease. My heart is beating so fast, surely he can feel it through the thin material of my satin dress.
"You can do it alone, in the comfort of your own home" I add to his analogy and he smiles widely and adds "Or with multiple partners". I wrap my arms around his neck and he spins me slowly, lifting me from the ground and as he lowers back down we kiss passionately.
Later that night, on our walk back to his apartment I feel like I want him more about his past dancing experience but I don't want to come off as jealous or insecure.
"Just ask it." He prompts me after a few minutes of silence
"How many women have you danced with?" I blurt out
"Dance with? Or...because I've danced with so many, started young too, remember they used to make you do those stupid barn dances in school? I had my fair share of dancing in PE and lets not forget actual school dances, the formal, I danced with so many...well I guess you wouldn't really call them women, more like girls" He laughs and I feel a little silly because he knows thats not what I was asking but he's going to make me say it.
"I'll reword it then mister literal, how many women have you..." I'm too shy to say the word and I can feel my cheeks are burning up.
"Zoey if you can't say the word then I can't answer your question" He is in hysterics, great, I'm glad he finds my innocence so amusing.
"How many women have you had sex with?" I shout at him with far more force than I intended, now I'm the crazy girl who shouts at her boyfriend in the streets of San Myshuno and he stops walking, turns around to face me and replies with complete seriousness "3 Zoey, there's been 3"
I wasn't expecting there to be 3, I knew Steph would be one of the 3 but in what order on that list does she even appear, like was she the last of the 3 or the first or was there a girl before Steph that he dated.
"I've only ever dated Steph and ofcouse now You Zo" He offers up
"The other two were...?" I ask
"After Steph, with in the weeks after out break up, I was in a bad place and Caleb thought it would help if tried to hook up with girls, the first one was just casual sex for the both of us but the second one got too attached and I had to going to The Stargazer...for a while" He explains
"Oh" I shouldn't ask questions when I'm not ready for the answers.
"I loved Steph and that love doesn't just go away once it's over, I felt, at the time, that I needed an outlet to pour that love into, even if I didn't love the person receiving it, I was messed up Zoey and it was a long time ago and it's the reason I don't do the casual sex thing, it gets too messed up and you're looking at me like I've any chance with you now" I cancer the desperation in his voice.
"You haven't lost me, I ask a question and you gave me a completely honest answer and I respect that Angus. Your past is just that, your past, I didn't know you then so I'm in no position to judge" I assure him
"Thank you Zoey" He sounds relieved
"I liked dancing with you" I tell him, "You're very skilled"
"Wait until I show you my other moves baby" He teases.
Once back inside the apartment I realise how late it actually is.
"Angus it's 3am, we've been out all night and I'm guessing you're getting up in a few hours to go for a run?" I ask him
"I'm skipping my run, just this once" He tells me, as I begin to unpin my hair, "Do you need to shower before bed?" he asks
"Umm yeah, is that ok?"
"Yes Zoey, it's all good, you can use my shower, I put a shower gel in there for you, the girl at the store said it's the best and it smells like strawberries too" he tells me
"Thanks that's so sweet. You're not showering?" I ask.
"I will after you're done baby" he replies
silence falls between us for a moment, I'm engulfed by nerves.
"Zoey, you don't have to do anything you're not ready for" He assures me but I think I am ready to take a smell step
"I'm not ready to have sex with you, not yet, don't get me wrong, I want to Angus but I also want to the moment to be special when we do take that step and I know that sounds sappy but I know I want to share that with you but we are not there yet, please don't get angry, I know you've put in all this effort tonight and I know nights like tonight would usually end in sex but I'm just not ready to take that step yet" I can feel myself getting worked up but I had to say it.
"Oh Zo no, please don't think that I just did all that tonight to get you into bed, I know you're not ready yet and I promise that when you are we will plan it together, I'll make it special for you baby" He assures me
"I'm not ready to have sex tonight but..." Just take the leap Zoey, ask him
"But?" he repeats, curious.
"But will you join me in the shower?" I ask, my heart is in my throat
"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured at all" He asks sweetly and I know I'm sure, I can trust him completely
"Yes please"
He stands behind me, slowly unzips my dress and lets it slink to the ground, sweeps my hair to one side and kisses my neck softly, moves his mouth to my ear and whispers "You looked gorgeous baby"
"Thank you" I whisper back, I swear my heart is going to escape my chest and he lets his fingers sweep down my arm until they meet my hands, his hands sit on top of mine and guiding our arms to wrap around me and for a moment it creates a warm, comforting blanket around me.
"Zoey I'm going to remove your underwear, is that ok" He whispers and I nod, unable to speak. His arms leave my own and the feathery touch of his fingers run down my waist, sliding into the sides of my underwear and pushing it down to the floor.
"Step forward" He orders and I obey.
He pushes my clothing aside with his foot, grans my hand and spins me around, I've never been naked in front of a man before and every insecurity starts to play out in my mind. My initial reaction is to cover up but he stops me.
"Zoey you're beautiful, don't be ashamed" He reassures me and I kiss his lips tenderly
"Are you showering in clothes tonight" I ask, giggling
"I wasn't going to but you may need to help me out" he suggests, smirking, taking off his vest. I unbutton his shirt with trembling hands, reaching the last one and I push the shirt down his arms and it floats to the floor. I run my palm down his torso, smiling to myself.
"You're not done yet miss green" He reminds me
"I savouring the moment" I inform him and he laughs
"Fuck you're cute" He says as he leans down to kiss me, "Bu you've gotta keep going"
Pants Zoey, he is hinting for you to remove his pants.
I unbuckle his belt, pull is swiftly through the loops and throw it on the floor all the while maintaining eye contact with his sea blue eyes.
Unbutton his pants and pull the zip down, one push and they hit the floor. The thin red silk of his boxers is all that remains between us now.
"It's ok if you want to stop Zoey" He assures me but I've come this far.
"Im going to touch your arse as I remove your boxers" I warn him, "So if you feel the need to flex to impress me then that would be the time"
He laughs but I feel his but tighten as roll my hands around his cheeks and shimmy him out of his boxers.
There we stand in front of each other, naked, nothing left to hide. I take his hand and lead him into the bathroom, we step inside the shower and he turns the water on, the heat tingles on my bare skin.
"Is the temp ok" He asks concerned, I nod
"It's perfect, you're perfect" I reply, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Zoey, I'm far from perfect, I just didn't want to tell you that you smelt" he laughs and I look at him with a mock surprised look
"So, you only asked me out because I have poor hygiene that you aim to improve?" I ask
"Yeah, it's really bad, it's why I kept staring at you that first day you walked into my gym, I was thinking "Where is that smell coming from" and it was you" He jokes
"You were staring at me that first day?" This time genuinely surprised
"Umm yeah, you were just this beautiful, shy enigma that caught my attention and then that second day, when you said Tess wasn't coming, I'll admit, I thought you just wouldn't talk to me at all"
"I wasn't going to talk to you" I tell him
"Why did you then" he asks curiously
"Because you wouldn't shut up, you just kept asking me questions and I kept watching the time and trying to stay silent, my plan was if I didn't talk then you wouldn't talk to me" I inform him
"I love a challenge baby and your plan was never going to work, I was always going to make you mine" He smiles and spanks me on my behind. We both stand there for a moment, taking in what just happened, the smile is removed from his face and replaced with a look of shock.
"I didn't mean to do that, I got carried away, I'm so sorry" he apologises and I can feel his heart beating faster, he's nervous, I've made Angus nervous!
"I enjoyed it" I reassure him smiling and I'm not lying, it was exciting. I kiss him and he relaxes again
"Let's get you washed Zoey" he says, squeezing strawberry body wash onto a loofa and begins making circles with the loofa, massaging my skin all over until he reaches me breasts, he stops.
"It's ok" I tell him, giving him permission to them. He cups my left one as he cleans it with great attention to detail, soaping up my nipple and giving it a little squeeze, I feel the electric bolt go through me and he follows up the routine on the right side, finishing with the same nipple squeeze, same electric bolt racing through me
"You're gorgeous Zoey" He tells me
"Gorgeous and smelly right" I joke
"No, just gorgeous" He corrects me and I smile.
After our shower we towel off and get dressed in pyjamas, well in my case PJs, he just throws on a fresh pair of boxers.
"I put fresh sheets on Immie's bed" He tells me and I look at him confused
"I thought I'd be sleeping in your bed?" I say
"I had hoped you would too but I didn't want you to feel pressured to"
"I want to, I mean if you're ok with it?" I ask
"Get into the bed Zoey" He smiles
He turns the lights off and climbs in next to me, wrapping me up in his arms, our bodies curving into each other and I feel myself drift off to sleep
"Zoey?" He whispers
"Hmm?" I murmur back
"You're feet are freezing"
"No, I put them between your legs to warm them up, they're warm now"
"No, they're freezing" He laughs
"Shh sleep"
Silence fills the air and again I begin to drift off
"Zoey?" He Whispers
"Hmm?" I murmur back
"I love you"
"Thank you for returning my card Zoey, I hope you found a beautiful dress to wear tonight" He said, trying to sound as upbeat as he can, as if the day before's conversation had never taken place.
"I did, thank you" I replied, curtly, I may be angry but I am still polite to my parents, it's a fight and I know we will eventually move past it and be good again.
"Zoey, Your mother and I are very sorry about yesterday, we never wanted to upset you or make you think that Angus isn't good enough, like Tess pointed out, we need to trust you more" He explains, "This is all new ground for us too and we're kinda learning as we are going along" He continues.
I can't stay mad at them, they were concerned and worried and I've just got to show them they have nothing to worry about.
"Im sorry too Don, I love you and Mum too and I'm sorry I yelled. I just want you both to know though that I won't let anything distract me, not even Angus, I know what my goals are for this year and I'm going to achieve them, trust me" I can feel that I'm getting worked up again, pleading with Don to see that I can do this, distraction free
"I know you can sweetie, we know you can and we trust you. We talked it over after you left yesterday and agree that it's ok if you stay at Angus' apartment but it comes with conditions and this now goes for you both" He informs us, Don is often sent in alone to set the rules for us, Mum is way too soft for that and knows that we would bulldoze her power...well Tess would anyway
"What new laws has sheriff Lothario come up with this time" Tess groans
"Nothing too big, we know you girls are growing up, soon you'll be young adults, out in the world and we don't want to be the big bad parents coming down on you and making life hard but we also don't want you to fail your final year of school and either need to repeat it or be working at Chez Llama forever so we've come up with a social plan, not just for boyfriends but for friends too, until the end of the school year social activities can only be done on Friday and Saturday nights, this includes staying at Angus or Declan's house" He explains to us
"What about the gym?" I ask nervously, please don't stop us from going to the gym.
"You can still attend the gym because it's a great stress reliever and you can still go to Cassie's house to study but no week day parties or dates, do you think we can work with that girls" He asks with trepidation, as if he's about to run on top of a landmine
Tess and I exchange looks and nod
"Yes Don" Tess says, then adds "And Mum who is no doubt hiding in the kitchen"
Mum comes running into the dining room and kisses us both on the head.
"Thank you Donnie and girls, you know I hate confrontation" she exclaims
My mother and I have that in common.
"Now come along girls, I'll drop you to school on my way to work" Don offers
"What about my dress? It will get crushed if I take it in my bag and even if I leave it at Chez Llama all day it will then get crushed on the train to the gym" I only just realised Im going to have to bring my dress with me, as well as an overnight bag and my gym clothes. It's way too much to carry around school and on the train.
"Ok, quick detour, we drop your dress and overnight bag with Angus and then onto school" Don exclaims
I call Angus to warn him we are doing a drop off, in case he was still in bed.
"I just got back from my run" He tells me when he answers
"it's 7am and freezing outside, how can you run in this weather? At this hour?" I ask
"Ah I'm a personal trainer, it's the only time I do get to run and the sun rise was beautiful this morning" he claims
"I saw it from our dinning room table as I ate my eggs" I exclaim proudly
We drop the dress and bag off and head to school.
The day is moving so slowly, Mr Landraab gives his "this is your most important year" 3 more times today and he even threw in this his other line "every moment counts". If every moment counts then why was he wasting our time with these endless speeches of how we need to study hard, how every day counts. Just let us get through the next five months without the pressure of telling us how "this is the year that will decide your futures" I swear that man never gets tired of hearing himself speak.
Cassie has her town car drive us to the gym that afternoon and even our session drags on, full of squats and weights and now he throws in the step work. It just seems endless. Finally it's down to our last 5 minutes and we have cool down time and then we are done. Cassie, Tess and I run off to the showers where we wash the sweat off and they go about making me pretty for my date. Make up is Cassie's department, she has a way of making it look like you were born with chiseled cheek bones and smokey eyes and Tess comes in with the hair styling and making the dress sit "just right" as she calls it. My dress is a red, satin strapless masterpiece. Tess and Cassie tell me it fit perfectly "in all the right place" whatever that means. We exit the shower block and Angus is waiting for me, his eyes gowned when he takes in what I'm wearing, "you look amazing" he say, absolutely flawed
I say goodbye to Cassie, Declan and hug Tess, who whispers in my ear "you look beautiful sis, just remember if you don't want to do anything then that's ok"
On our way out the door I hear Annabelle call me back to her "Zoey you look gorgeous, are you going out tonight" she asks
"I am, my boyfriend is taking me out tonight" I tell her
"Well he's a lucky guy, is he picking you up?" She asks suspiciously as she is watching Angus hover by the door, smiling to himself
"He lives near here so I'm just going to walk to his apartment" I explain, it's not a lie either.
"Oh no, you can't walk alone" She exclaims "Angus, be a good man and walk Zoey to her boyfriend's apartment, I believe you're going in that direction anyway" She winks at me and Angus comes up behind me and whispers in my ear "Zoey, she knows, she has known from the day you first arrived here"
"But I thought we couldn't tell anyone here?" Im so confused, he laid out the rule but he broke it himself
"Annabelle is one of my best friends, we've known each other since the 2nd grade, I tell her everything" He explains
"We just don't share that information with the others who work her" Annabelle assures me "but I am happy for you Zoey and you too Gus" She smiles at us and we leave.
Angus and I walk to his apartment where he showers and washes away the day. He comes out looking mighty fine and there's a small part of me that doesn't want to go out, I want just stay in, with him and enjoy the privacy but I know we can't do that, we have to venture out into the world together.
Angus takes me to one of the finest dining place I've ever experienced, I have a lamb rack that just melts in my mouth and Angus have a grilled chicken great with veggies. Over dinner he tells me how his sister is plans to return in the next few weeks and how excited he is to introduce us but how he fears she will "steal me away from him" because of our love for Grey's Anatomy and how re-watch season is upon us, I promise him that no one could steal me away from him and he beams.
"Why do some people call you Gus? I know it's short for Angus but do you prefer it? Do you want me to call you Gus too?" I ask him after our table has been cleared
"I'd rather you didn't actually" he says with a smile and then further explains himself "My Father's name was also Angus and as I was named after him I got called Gus growing up and I secretly hate it, Immie calls me Gus because thats who I am to her, her much younger brother Gus and Annabelle is the only friend I'd ever be comfortable with calling me Gus because she's my oldest friend and that was how she knew me when we were 7 year olds"
"Have you and Annabelle ever...um..." I know what I want to ask but the words won't come out.
"Have we ever dated? Is that your question" He pushes me, I nod my head, "No, Annabelle has always been like a sister to me, my parents died when I was 12, their car was hit by a drunk driver and they both died on impact. Imogen raised me from that point on and Annabelle just became like a rock to me, she's seen me through some pretty dark times, she was always there but there has never been a moment when either of our had feelings for the other" He assures me.
"Im sorry" I apologise
"For what" he ask, a confused look on his face.
"I feel silly for even asking it and now I've made you bring up the painful memories of your parents dying and I feel awful" I explain. He reaches his hand across the table and takes mine.
"Zoey don't feel bad, these are just normal 'getting to know you' questions that people on dates ask, you have every right to know if I ever had a relationship with Annabelle and as for my parents, it's ok, I'm ok talking about it now, I will admit that it did screw me up a bit in my teenage years but I want to share everything with you, the good and the bad and I want you to feel you can do the same with me" He squeezes my hand "You can ask me anything"
"Your ex girlfriend...?" I ask nervously
"Steph?" He offers up her name
"You and Steph? How long were you together? Was it serious?" I know he said I could 'ask anything' but this might be pushing it.
"I met Steph in high School, she and Annabelle were really good friends, still are actually. We started dating when we were 16, we were together for 4 years, After we graduated high school she went to university and I went to a trade school, I wanted to be a carpenter. We moved in together, to a small apartment in San Myshuno and we adopted a dog together, Nortica, Steph still has her too but she'd be getting old now, we found her as an adult, she was a stray". He stops talking and smiles to himself but then continues "I was different back then, I was chubby and would drink a lot, I wasn't a good boyfriend to Steph, I didn't cheat but I was really insecure and I pretty much pushed Steph and Brian together" There's sadness in his voice.
"How did you go from being insecure to becoming so confident?" I ask because I can't imagine Angus ever being insecure.
"I joined the Skye Gym two years ago, not long after the break up and I started working out with my trainer, Justin and he did not go easy on me at all but he taught me how to build my confidence. I stopped drinking for a while and now only have the occasional lite beer, like when I'm trying to hit on that girl at the Stargazer last Friday night" He explains
"How did work out for you with that girl?" I ask coyly
"She came back to my apartment...and then passed out on my couch so I carried her to my sister's bed, put the blanket around her and kissed her on the forehead. She looks beautiful when she sleeps but she also talks in her sleep when she's drunk" He laughs
"Oh no, what did I say?" I ask, embarrassed
"It was mostly just mumbled nonsense but you did say my name and mention that I was hot" He tells me and I go bright red, "Don't worry baby, I tell myself in my sleep how hot I am every night" He jokes
"Yeah, you're not insecure at all" I laugh
The restaurant starts to become empty by 8pm but I know I'm not ready for this night to end yet and I'm hoping he doesn't either.
"Do you wanna go to the karaoke bar near my place? We can dance there" He asks as if he's reading my mind.
"I'm not that good at dancing" I inform him
"It's all good baby, I'll lead, you'll be all good with me" He promises
"I know I will be" I reply and we both know Im not just talking about dancing.
We drive back to his apartment, park the car in the under ground garage and walk to the karaoke bar. It's packed with people who want to get drunk on a Friday night and belt out their favourite song....some better than others but still everyone is just there to have fun and the room feels electric.
"Drink?" Angus shouts over the singer butchering "Summer of '69", I nod my head and go to offer him money but he won't have it, "You're my girl, I got this", he orders me a vodka soda and a coke for himself.
"You're not having the lite beer tonight" I ask
"Nah, I'm good" he replies and we take our seats at the bar. I'm surprised to see so many people dancing and it makes me a little bit nervous too that he's going to drag me out there, in front of all these skilled dancers and I'm just so clumsy.
"They won't even notice you, I promise baby" He assures me, reading my mind again.
"How do you always know what I'm thinking?" I ask him, curiously.
"I read the expression on your face, it tells me what you're thinking most of the time. Remember I'm a former insecure kid myself, I can relate" He informs me.
"What if I'm bad? What if I fall?" My mind is ticking over with all the things that could go wrong
"Then no-one will care. You think all these people started out so good?" He laughs as he takes my hand and leads me on to the dance floor, just as a new singer takes the mike and starts singing "Rolling in the Deep". He pulls me in close to him, takes me by the waist and we start dancing slowly.
"Dancing is a lot like sex" He informs me and I feel myself start to blush
"Well I have little experience with one of those activities and none at the other so maybe you'll need to explain that too me" I tell him
"Well both sex and dancing can be performed in different styles. Like us now, slow, steady, taking our time, savouring every moment" He moves his hand further down my waist, "It can be passionate, fiery, it can go for hours" He arches me into a dip and pulls me back up to meet his eyes and continues "It can also be fast, hot and sweaty, over before it began. It can get complicated, adding in too many moves and it can be angry, fierce"
He spins me out, never letting go of my hand and I come back to him with ease. My heart is beating so fast, surely he can feel it through the thin material of my satin dress.
"You can do it alone, in the comfort of your own home" I add to his analogy and he smiles widely and adds "Or with multiple partners". I wrap my arms around his neck and he spins me slowly, lifting me from the ground and as he lowers back down we kiss passionately.
Later that night, on our walk back to his apartment I feel like I want him more about his past dancing experience but I don't want to come off as jealous or insecure.
"Just ask it." He prompts me after a few minutes of silence
"How many women have you danced with?" I blurt out
"Dance with? Or...because I've danced with so many, started young too, remember they used to make you do those stupid barn dances in school? I had my fair share of dancing in PE and lets not forget actual school dances, the formal, I danced with so many...well I guess you wouldn't really call them women, more like girls" He laughs and I feel a little silly because he knows thats not what I was asking but he's going to make me say it.
"I'll reword it then mister literal, how many women have you..." I'm too shy to say the word and I can feel my cheeks are burning up.
"Zoey if you can't say the word then I can't answer your question" He is in hysterics, great, I'm glad he finds my innocence so amusing.
"How many women have you had sex with?" I shout at him with far more force than I intended, now I'm the crazy girl who shouts at her boyfriend in the streets of San Myshuno and he stops walking, turns around to face me and replies with complete seriousness "3 Zoey, there's been 3"
I wasn't expecting there to be 3, I knew Steph would be one of the 3 but in what order on that list does she even appear, like was she the last of the 3 or the first or was there a girl before Steph that he dated.
"I've only ever dated Steph and ofcouse now You Zo" He offers up
"The other two were...?" I ask
"After Steph, with in the weeks after out break up, I was in a bad place and Caleb thought it would help if tried to hook up with girls, the first one was just casual sex for the both of us but the second one got too attached and I had to going to The Stargazer...for a while" He explains
"Oh" I shouldn't ask questions when I'm not ready for the answers.
"I loved Steph and that love doesn't just go away once it's over, I felt, at the time, that I needed an outlet to pour that love into, even if I didn't love the person receiving it, I was messed up Zoey and it was a long time ago and it's the reason I don't do the casual sex thing, it gets too messed up and you're looking at me like I've any chance with you now" I cancer the desperation in his voice.
"You haven't lost me, I ask a question and you gave me a completely honest answer and I respect that Angus. Your past is just that, your past, I didn't know you then so I'm in no position to judge" I assure him
"Thank you Zoey" He sounds relieved
"I liked dancing with you" I tell him, "You're very skilled"
"Wait until I show you my other moves baby" He teases.
Once back inside the apartment I realise how late it actually is.
"Angus it's 3am, we've been out all night and I'm guessing you're getting up in a few hours to go for a run?" I ask him
"I'm skipping my run, just this once" He tells me, as I begin to unpin my hair, "Do you need to shower before bed?" he asks
"Umm yeah, is that ok?"
"Yes Zoey, it's all good, you can use my shower, I put a shower gel in there for you, the girl at the store said it's the best and it smells like strawberries too" he tells me
"Thanks that's so sweet. You're not showering?" I ask.
"I will after you're done baby" he replies
silence falls between us for a moment, I'm engulfed by nerves.
"Zoey, you don't have to do anything you're not ready for" He assures me but I think I am ready to take a smell step
"I'm not ready to have sex with you, not yet, don't get me wrong, I want to Angus but I also want to the moment to be special when we do take that step and I know that sounds sappy but I know I want to share that with you but we are not there yet, please don't get angry, I know you've put in all this effort tonight and I know nights like tonight would usually end in sex but I'm just not ready to take that step yet" I can feel myself getting worked up but I had to say it.
"Oh Zo no, please don't think that I just did all that tonight to get you into bed, I know you're not ready yet and I promise that when you are we will plan it together, I'll make it special for you baby" He assures me
"I'm not ready to have sex tonight but..." Just take the leap Zoey, ask him
"But?" he repeats, curious.
"But will you join me in the shower?" I ask, my heart is in my throat
"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured at all" He asks sweetly and I know I'm sure, I can trust him completely
"Yes please"
He stands behind me, slowly unzips my dress and lets it slink to the ground, sweeps my hair to one side and kisses my neck softly, moves his mouth to my ear and whispers "You looked gorgeous baby"
"Thank you" I whisper back, I swear my heart is going to escape my chest and he lets his fingers sweep down my arm until they meet my hands, his hands sit on top of mine and guiding our arms to wrap around me and for a moment it creates a warm, comforting blanket around me.
"Zoey I'm going to remove your underwear, is that ok" He whispers and I nod, unable to speak. His arms leave my own and the feathery touch of his fingers run down my waist, sliding into the sides of my underwear and pushing it down to the floor.
"Step forward" He orders and I obey.
He pushes my clothing aside with his foot, grans my hand and spins me around, I've never been naked in front of a man before and every insecurity starts to play out in my mind. My initial reaction is to cover up but he stops me.
"Zoey you're beautiful, don't be ashamed" He reassures me and I kiss his lips tenderly
"Are you showering in clothes tonight" I ask, giggling
"I wasn't going to but you may need to help me out" he suggests, smirking, taking off his vest. I unbutton his shirt with trembling hands, reaching the last one and I push the shirt down his arms and it floats to the floor. I run my palm down his torso, smiling to myself.
"You're not done yet miss green" He reminds me
"I savouring the moment" I inform him and he laughs
"Fuck you're cute" He says as he leans down to kiss me, "Bu you've gotta keep going"
Pants Zoey, he is hinting for you to remove his pants.
I unbuckle his belt, pull is swiftly through the loops and throw it on the floor all the while maintaining eye contact with his sea blue eyes.
Unbutton his pants and pull the zip down, one push and they hit the floor. The thin red silk of his boxers is all that remains between us now.
"It's ok if you want to stop Zoey" He assures me but I've come this far.
"Im going to touch your arse as I remove your boxers" I warn him, "So if you feel the need to flex to impress me then that would be the time"
He laughs but I feel his but tighten as roll my hands around his cheeks and shimmy him out of his boxers.
There we stand in front of each other, naked, nothing left to hide. I take his hand and lead him into the bathroom, we step inside the shower and he turns the water on, the heat tingles on my bare skin.
"Is the temp ok" He asks concerned, I nod
"It's perfect, you're perfect" I reply, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Zoey, I'm far from perfect, I just didn't want to tell you that you smelt" he laughs and I look at him with a mock surprised look
"So, you only asked me out because I have poor hygiene that you aim to improve?" I ask
"Yeah, it's really bad, it's why I kept staring at you that first day you walked into my gym, I was thinking "Where is that smell coming from" and it was you" He jokes
"You were staring at me that first day?" This time genuinely surprised
"Umm yeah, you were just this beautiful, shy enigma that caught my attention and then that second day, when you said Tess wasn't coming, I'll admit, I thought you just wouldn't talk to me at all"
"I wasn't going to talk to you" I tell him
"Why did you then" he asks curiously
"Because you wouldn't shut up, you just kept asking me questions and I kept watching the time and trying to stay silent, my plan was if I didn't talk then you wouldn't talk to me" I inform him
"I love a challenge baby and your plan was never going to work, I was always going to make you mine" He smiles and spanks me on my behind. We both stand there for a moment, taking in what just happened, the smile is removed from his face and replaced with a look of shock.
"I didn't mean to do that, I got carried away, I'm so sorry" he apologises and I can feel his heart beating faster, he's nervous, I've made Angus nervous!
"I enjoyed it" I reassure him smiling and I'm not lying, it was exciting. I kiss him and he relaxes again
"Let's get you washed Zoey" he says, squeezing strawberry body wash onto a loofa and begins making circles with the loofa, massaging my skin all over until he reaches me breasts, he stops.
"It's ok" I tell him, giving him permission to them. He cups my left one as he cleans it with great attention to detail, soaping up my nipple and giving it a little squeeze, I feel the electric bolt go through me and he follows up the routine on the right side, finishing with the same nipple squeeze, same electric bolt racing through me
"You're gorgeous Zoey" He tells me
"Gorgeous and smelly right" I joke
"No, just gorgeous" He corrects me and I smile.
After our shower we towel off and get dressed in pyjamas, well in my case PJs, he just throws on a fresh pair of boxers.
"I put fresh sheets on Immie's bed" He tells me and I look at him confused
"I thought I'd be sleeping in your bed?" I say
"I had hoped you would too but I didn't want you to feel pressured to"
"I want to, I mean if you're ok with it?" I ask
"Get into the bed Zoey" He smiles
He turns the lights off and climbs in next to me, wrapping me up in his arms, our bodies curving into each other and I feel myself drift off to sleep
"Zoey?" He whispers
"Hmm?" I murmur back
"You're feet are freezing"
"No, I put them between your legs to warm them up, they're warm now"
"No, they're freezing" He laughs
"Shh sleep"
Silence fills the air and again I begin to drift off
"Zoey?" He Whispers
"Hmm?" I murmur back
"I love you"
