All you had to do was Stay

Graduation day, a day I thought would never arrive, I am finally done with Buckingham High, I cleared out my locker, handed my textbooks back to the office and have my cape and gown ready, I am so excited.
Tess and I arrive at school at 11, I take my seat next to Cassie, the best part about seating being done in alphabetical order is that Goth comes just before Green. Tess takes her place on stage next to Declan, her final duty as School Captain is to run the ceremony alongside Mr Landgaarb. 
We do a practice run of the ceremony before the parents and special guests arrive.
"They are going to drag this out aunt they?" Cassie complains and I nod, I just want to get my diploma and drink champagne and dance around my basement with my friends.

The ceremony begins at 1pm, we've been sitting in the school hall for hours and everyones restless so when Tess finally steps up to the microphone to commence we all cheer.
"I like to welcome our parents and guests and congratulate my fellow classmates on completing not only the hardest year of our lives, so far, but also 13 years of schooling. The memories that we've made here will stay with us forever and no matter where you are going next year you will always have a part of Buckingham with you. On behalf of Declan and myself we want to say that we have been honoured to be your school captains and we would like to thank Mr Landgaarb and all our teachers for all their guidance and support this year." Tess announces to the crowd and we all cheer again.
Mr Landgaarb approaches the microphone and begins handing out our diplomas, Declan is first, followed by Tess and then the rest of the class in alphabetical order. When it comes to my turn to accept my diploma Mr Landgaarb smiles warmly at me
"Congratulations Miss Green" he says, shaking my hand, Tess breaks protocol to run up and hug me, to share this moment together.

After the ceremony we find all set out to find our parents and guests. I spot Mum and Don, standing at the back of the room talking to Imogen, I'm surprised to see her here. I approach them and Mum pulls Tess and I in for a hug together.
"Im so proud of my babies" She cries.
Don is next to grab us and tell us that he is proud and happy, I've never seen Don cry before today. We move down the line to Imogen, who looks as beautiful as ever.
"Congratulations Zoey and Tess" She says hugging us 
"Thank you" I reply, "Is Angus here?" I ask her and she points behind me, he was filming the ceremony and Tess and I with our parents. He runs up to us, wraps me up in his arms, picks me up and spins me.
"You're free Princess, congratulations" He exclaims, that big, bright smile on his face but his face drops when he sees Mr Landgaarb coming over to us, "Fuck" he whispers to me.
"Congratulations again Zoey" Mr Landgaarb says
"Thank you" I reply through gritted teeth, I hate this guy.
"Angus I wanted to come over and clear the air, after Tuesday evening. Zoey was right, I was out of line with how I spoke to you, it's been 5 years and you've grown into a good man. I also want to apologise to you for destroying your education, it's not excuse but my son was a drug addict who is now serving a life sentence in a foreign prison for attempting to smuggle drugs, when I caught you with drugs I took the anger I have for my son out on you. You were a bright student and could have gone far" Mr Landgaarb explains
"Thank you for the apology but it doesn't really change what happened, what I lost" Angus says coldly
"Which is why I have an offer for you. I looked over your records, saw what subjects you took and have spoken to our teachers here, I want to give you back your year, it would mean you would have to start year 12 again but I want to get you your high school certificate and you could go to university" Mr Landgaarb offers him
"I'll be 23 sitting in a classroom with 17 and 18 year olds?" Angus asks
"No, you can do your subjects at home, at your own pace, we will be on hand to provide you with as much tutoring and support you need to get you up to speed and your girlfriend here would be happy to help too" He says, pointing to me, I'm about to correct him when Angus jumps in
"I accept your offer" Angus says, shaking Landgaarb's hand.
"I'm having a small graduation party at my house, would you come to it?" I invite Angus one Landgaarb has left us
"Of course sweetie, as long as you don't mind a high schooler coming along to your party" He laughs
"Oh yeah, we don't hang out with high school kids" I tease him
"I can't believe I'm going to put myself through all that stress again" He sighs
"At least this time you know whats coming, you know the material, you've read all the books on the reading list and you can have my notes. Plus I'll help you through, so will the others and we can go to university together" I tell him, I'm so happy he gets a second chance.
"I owe you so much Zoey, if you hadn't defended me then this would never of happened. Thank you" He hugs me tightly

Angus and I walk to his car which he parked in the school parking lot and he hands me the his keys.
"You're driving home" He announces to me
"I can't drive your car. What if I crash it?" I panic
"I'm insured and you won't crash. Just remember though, I love my car so you've gotta treat her right, take it slow, ease yourself into it" He reminds me
"You love her more than me?" I ask him
"She never left me" He teases.
I drive slowly out of the car park, making sure I'm cautious and head out of Forgotten Hollow. 
"I could get used to driving this" I tell him as we come into Willow Creek, I'm staying just under 60km
"You can go faster if you want, it's 70 along this road" He tells me and I put my foot down slightly on the accelerator, bringing it up to 67, "You're doing good Zo" He praises me.
"I told you I could drive" I remind him
"Yeah but you also told me you felt nervous driving outside of Brindleton Bay so I'm a little surprised with how calm you are" He exclaims
"I couldn't drive to San Myshuno during the day, I'd have a panic attack with the amount of traffic and all the lane changes" I tell him
"Zoey there was a time, not too long ago, when you couldn't even talk to me without having a panic attack and now you're telling off school principals, you're not that shy, timid girl I first met, you've pushed yourself outside of your own comfort zone and I love seeing it" He says, placing a hand on my knee
"And I credit a lot of that too you Angus, you brought me out of my shell, you made me feel special" I look over at him and smile
"Eyes on the road Zoey" He panics slightly

My basement has been transformed with balloons and streamers, theres food everywhere and Don is mixing drinks at the bar. Tess, Cassie, Sam and Declan are already here.
"I just messaged Steph, she said her and Annabelle will be here soon" Tess says running up to me
"I drove Angus' car" I blurt out to her, it's a big, exciting achievement for me and I want to tell everyone
"You let her drive it? Her?" Tess yells at Angus
"She earned it, she got me a second chance at completing Year 12" Angus boasts
"What? That's awesome news" Tess says hugging Angus and then me, "Let's drink and dance", she grabs my hand and leads me to where Cassie, Sam and Declan are dancing, Angus goes to the bar and gets us drinks and talk to Don, I look over and see them laughing together, my mother walks up to Angus and hugs him warmly, I didn't even know him when I started the year and now he is so intertwined into my life, even when we didn't talk he was still in my life through Tess, Cassie and Declan.
I leave my group to join Angus, I hear the end of their conversation as I approach, something about Christmas is being discussed.
"It's only October and you're already planning Christmas?" I ask them and they exchange looks
"Zoey you know me, always making plans" Angus laughs
"Can I borrow you for a moment, I have something for you" I ask him, he hands me a drink and follows me upstairs, to my bedroom, I realise this is the first time he's been in here too.
"I love your mural, did Tess paint that?" He marvels at the beautiful beach scene.
"She did, she's pretty good. Did you ever get her to paint one in your office?" I enquire
"Yep, I'll show it to you tomorrow afternoon, she did an amazing job and now I have something beautiful to look at every day" He tells me and I hand him his copy of 'Seduction by the Sea'
"Sorry, I've had this sitting here since July, I thought about mailing it back to you but I didn't want to let it go, it reminded me of you" I say
"You didn't finish it?" He exclaims
"I tried to, I love the story but after we broke up I couldn't read about the captain without thinking of you, so I would sleep with it beside me every night" I tell him
"Keep it Zo, finish it" He urges, putting it back down on my bedside table, "I like your room, it's very Zoey"
"I don't even know what that means Angus" I laugh
"You've got this giant movie collection which is almost matched by your book collection, you have posters of horses and little shinny trinkets, it's cute like you" He smiles at me
"You like cute, I remember" I smile back at him
"I like you" He exclaims, stroking my cheek
"We should probably get back to the party" I suggest because I know his flirting won't go anywhere and I'll just end up sad that it will never be what I want it to be.

I Almost Do

"Morning gorgeous" Angus greets me as I stir from my deep sleep, my body sprawled across his own, my head lay on his chest, hand on his torso.
"You're still here" I state, I don't think I've ever woken up with him next to me before, it's a first.
"It's my bed, where else would I be?" He laughs 
"Running, reading in your garden, you never stay in bed with me" I tell him
"I took it for granted before, getting to wake up with you beside me and now I may never get the opportunity to do it again so I'm savouring it" He explains and it hits me that this will be our last time together in this bed and there's nothing I can do about it. I close my eyes and listen to his heart beat, it feels good to just lay here and not have the stress of school, exams or secret phone calls, I can just relax and then I realise that it's Wednesday.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" I ask him
"I took the day off, Immie is there to run things and Justin can take my classes, I'll go in this afternoon for group but I want to spend some time with you" He says, running his fingers through my hair, I could stay like this forever. 
There's a knock at his bedroom door
"Gus are you home?" Imogen calls through the door
"Yeah Immie. come in" He invites her, the door swings open and she walks in, sees me in his bed and smiles brightly at me.
"So the formal went well I see" She says to him
"We had the best night, I danced with the most beautiful girl and she went off at Landgaarb because he was a dick to me" He laughs
"It's about time someone gave that little weasel a good serving, I hate him and what he did to you Gus, stupid little man holding a grudge. His fucking son got caught smuggling drugs over the boarder from Selvadorada 6 years ago and his daddy spent millions trying to fight his case but you smoke one joint and he destroys your whole education" She gets fired up
"That's pretty much what Zoey said to him" Angus states
"And that's why we love you Zoey" Imogen praises me, I look up at Angus who is giving Imogen the stare down, like she said the wrong thing but she doesn't care, she just keeps smiling, "I'm cooking breakfast if you two want any?" She asks
"Sounds good, we'll be out in a minute" He tells her

Imogen cooked us a grand breakfast of toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, mushrooms and orange juice, she places 3 boxes of cereal on the table. 
"I wasn't sure what Zoey eats so I thought I'd put a bit of everything out"  She explains
"Zoey eats anything except vegetables" Angus tells her laughing and it's true, "I, on the other hand only want strawberry jam, where is it?" He asks searching through the cupboards
"I couldn't find any, there's blackberry though and honey" Imogen suggests and he pulls a face at her of disgust
"Blackberry is gross and I don't want honey, I want strawberry jam. I bought some a while ago and put it on shelf in the cupboard" He tells her
"I don't know what to tell you Gus, sometimes you put something on a shelf thinking it will wait around for you until you decide you want it but someone else comes along and snaps it up and makes it feel loved again" She smiles at him and he stares her down.
"Imogen don't start with me about this, not again" He raises his voice
"Oh calm down Angus it's in the fridge" She laughs at him, he pulls the fridge open with force and finds the jam sitting in the door, opens it and spreads it on his toast. I can see he's frustrated by Imogen and I don't know how to fix it. He sits in silence eating his toast and when he's done he takes his plate to the kitchen and washes it.
"How was Justin?' He asks Imogen once he's calm
"He was good, we went for dinner in Newcrest and then went dancing, he's so sweet Gus, I can't believe I never knew he liked me, for years and he had to watch me go out with every other man that wasn't him and he just sat on the sidelines, holding his tongue when he should of just told me years ago and we could have been together" She tells him
"So what you're saying Imogen is that you didn't want Justin until he put it on the plate in front of you" Angus accused her
"I've never said this to you before but I have been in love with Justin since I was 21, I realised it when he was engaged and I didn't say anything because he was my best friend so I dated other men, trying to get over the love I had for him, I watched his marriage to Serena fall apart but I was with someone else and when that ended Justin was seeing Rachel. This is why I travel so much, because my heart was broken by a love I thought I'd never have, I never knew he felt the same and now I get to be in love with my best friend" She gushes and I smile at her, then smile at Angus but he's looking  down at the floor, deep in thought.

"What did you want to do today?" I ask Angus after breakfast.
"Do you want to go to the lighthouse?" He suggests
"Yes, I've never been up there before" I tell him
"Are you joking Zoey, it's a boat ride from your house, you can see it from your back yard and you've never been up there?"He says shocked
"Well today is a first" I say
"For us both" He adds hugging me.

We drive out to Brindleton Bay and he parks out the front of my house, we walk down to the docks and catch the ferry across the bay. We walk from the docks, up the hill to the lighthouse where we meet the lighthouse keeper out front and he allows us inside to explore, we walk the spiral staircase until we reach the top and step outside, the air up here is cooler and windy but there's an amazing view of the whole bay area from up here.
"There's your house Princess" Angus points out, excited.
"It's so tiny, like a doll house but I can see my bedroom window" I tell him
"I should have come up here a few months ago and brought a telescope with me" Angus laughs
"To look at the stars?" I ask him
"To look in your bedroom, just so I could have seen you even though I couldn't be near you, although I think that would have been torture really." He explains
"I started driving further while we were apart, out of Brindleton Bay, I started out going to Oasis Springs, Then to Forgotten Hollow, Newcrest, Willow Creek until I felt confident to drive to San Myshuno. I'd drive there at night and sit out the front of your apartment. I wanted more than anything to just get out of the car, go up that elevator and knock on your door and see you again" I exclaim
"Why didn't you?" He asks, confused
"Because I had lost my claim on you, I gave you up and I didn't want to step on what I thought you had with Steph, I wanted nothing more than to be with you but I didn't want to be your second choice" I cry
"You were never my second choice Princess, you were my one and only" He says with a quiver in his voice, I take his hand in mine.
"I know that now but I didn't back then, when I didn't hear from you I assumed you and Steph were together and Tess would tell me she would join you at The Stargazer" I tell him
"Steph and I are friends, when she started calling me I was angry at her, I thought what you thought, that she was making a move to get me back because she had heard I moved on and I was having no part in her game, I was in love with you Zoey, no one could of stollen me from you but I lived in fear that you would leave me if you knew she had called so I hid it but she kept calling and I gave in and talked to her and as soon as she mentioned Nortica having cancer I knew I had to be there for her, for my dog. I had been working on a way to tell you, to explain what was going on because it was killing me keeping a secret from you Zoey, I loved you" He breaks down and I hold onto him.
"You don't love me anymore" I whisper, not to him, more to myself, he pulls back so he can look me in the eyes.
"It doesn't just go away Zoey, I'll always love you but right now it's a different level of love because I'm not allowing you fully in and I hate this, I hate that I can't just let my guard down and just kiss you because I'm dying to kiss you so much but I'm an asshole and I hurt you if I let you in and then you run and I can't go through that again, as much as this is hurting me too, to have you in my life and have to watch you move on with whoever comes next and it's going to rip my fucking heart out but it's easier than the nothingness I had for 3 months, I'll take having you in my life as friend only over never talking to you ever again. You're my best friend Zoey" He holds me tightly and buries his face in my neck