Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

"It's formal day" Tess sings for the millionth time today and it's hard not to get wrapped up in the excitement, Cassie, Tess and I went to a salon in San Myshuno to have our hair done and then Steph came around to my house to do our make-up for us, we looked like absolute Princesses, lastly we put on our dresses and sprayed ourselves with perfume. We danced around the basement with Steph. Mum and Don come down to take pictures and hug us. Declan and Sam arrive at 5 and more photos are taken, my cheeks hurt from smiling. 
"The limousine is on it's way" Tess announces to us and we make our way upstairs when there's a knock at the door.
"That was quick" I say swinging the door open and laying eyes on Angus, standing there in a suit with a bunch of roses in his hand, I stand there stunned, he looks at me and smiles wide
"I like that dress, looks good on you" He tells me
"Why are here?" I ask confused
"I made a promise to a girl months ago that I would take her to the formal" He reminds me
"Angus stop standing in the doorway, come in here and give us a hug" My mother yells out to him and he steps past me to hug her and Don, who then force us to take more pictures together. The limo arrives and we are on our way to the formal, Tess with Declan, Cassie with Sam and Me with Angus. I don't know what this means for us but I'm hoping we are becoming friends.

San Myshuno Meadows has a giant house on the lot with a grand hall, this is where our formal will be held. Our limo pulls up out the front and we climb out.
"Immie want to get a picture of us, she's over by the observatory" Angus tells me and he takes my hand to walk over to her, I feel the butterflies inside my stomach come to life.
"Zoey you look gorgeous"Imogen greets me, pulling me in for a hug, "And you scrub up nicely too Gus" She praises him. She has us pose for pictures with us hugging, it's awkward somewhat but familiar.
"Kiss her forehead Gus" Imogen orders her brother and he sighs but does as he's told.
"Sorry Zoey" He apologises
"It's ok" I let him know, I swear he could feel my heart beating through my dress.
"You do look gorgeous by the way" He says, smiling at me
"So do you" I smile back

Once Imogen is done with photos we walk inside, the hall is decorated in white and silver balloons with large round tables for sitting, we check the seating chart and find that we are at table 6 with the rest of my group. Mr Landgaarb is greeting students as they enter, I turn and look at Angus and he groans, I take his hand to give him support hoping we can pass Landgaarb unnoticed but no such luck, he spots us.
"Mr Mckenzie, didn't I ban you from school events?" He says laughing
"It's been 5 years, I think I've paid my dues" Angus mumbles to him
"Zoey you were one of our brightest students, ranked second in your year, I would of expected better judgement out of you for who you chose to associate with" Landgaarb takes a swipe at me and I won't stand for it, this guy is an arrogant piece of shit.
"Mr Landgaarb, Angus is my guest tonight and as my guest I would like to think the school principal would be respectful and courteous as we students have been to every guest you've forced upon us in the past 6 years. Angus was ranked second in his year too, just like me and he made one mistake in his third term and you destroyed his chances of furthering his education because of it. He got caught smoking pot on the football field because he was stressed from the amount of pressure you all put on us leading up to these exams. How many times did I hear you tell us how this was our most important year? How this year will determine the rest of our lives? You destroyed a student's chances of going to university over one mistake. You're not an educator, you're a bully, you took satisfaction in knowing that you took everything away from him and that man is an asset to his community now, he owns his own business, he makes many donations to charities and he is a good person, unlike you" I yell at him and I hear the uprooting of cheering around me from my classmates, finally someone had the nerve to take on the man that had controlled our lives for the last 6 years. Angus and I walk to our table and I feel a rush of adrenaline run through me.
"Thank You Zoey, no one has ever defended me like that, you're the only person who has ever got why I was smoking a joint" He thanks me, hugging me tightly
"You deserved better Angus, he knows that and he let you down, he failed you" I'm still fired up
"We would dance" He says, leading me out to the dance floor, he holds me close and spins me around.
"I understand your dancing sex analogy now" I laugh
"Because you're now experienced at both" He replies smiling that cheeky smile
"Experienced is a stretch" I correct him
"I'll be the judge of that Miss Green" He winks at me
"Well I had a good teacher" I inform him, winking back
"And now you get to take those skills and share them with others" I says, dipping me and then pulling me back in close to him. I don't want to be with anyone else. I hide my face from him on his chest, I don't want him to see that his words cut me, "I meant your dancing skills Zoey" He clears up, sensing that he's hurt me, I pull my head up and look at him
"I don't want to dance with anyone else any time soon" I reassure him
"Neither do I" he replies
"You don't want to dance with Tess?" I push him and he laughs to himself
"Zoey I never saw Tess as anything other than a friend, I regretted making that comment as soon as it came out of my mouth, I don't want to sleep with Tess or Annabelle or Steph" He sets me straight, I just want to kiss him, this would be the most romantic night too, the formal in our fancy clothing on the dance floor but I can't kiss him because he doesn't feel that way about me anymore. 
"Can we be friends now?" I ask him
"I thought we were already friends Zoey?" He asks confused
"I wasn't sure because on Friday you said we couldn't be friends and today you show up at my door and you have these walls up that I just can't get through, I don't know what you want Angus" I explain
"When you left me I was broken and I thought you would just show up on the following Monday at the gym and we'd work it out but when I saw that it was only Tess, Declan and Cassie in the session I knew you were not coming back to me and I went downhill, I started drinking a lot, again, going to The Stargazer every night. After a month without you I became so angry at you, I told myself I never wanted to see you ever again and then..." He trails off
"And then you saw me at the vets and you were so cold towards me and I went home and told Tess that I hated boys and never wanted to date again" I laugh
"Thats not what Tess tells me, she said some dude hit on you at The Rattlesnake" He says smiling at me
"She told you that?" I'm surprised
"Yeah, she tells me things about you, whether I want to hear it or not. She said he got your number, I'm happy for you Zoey but you know if he hurts you I'll break his face" He says in protective tone
"Nothing has happened, he hasn't even contacted me and its been a week and a half so I guess he gave up" I inform him
"Well he's an idiot then" Angus replies, smiling at me, "But it's good that you're putting yourself out there and moving on"
"Is that what you're doing too? Moving on? Is that why you keep going to the bar and getting drunk?" I don't even think I want to know the answer but I had to ask
"I'm looking" He tells me and my heart sinks

The formal was a night I'll never forget, the food was an elegant 3 course meal and the fruit punch got spiked so we were all in high spirits by the nights end. 
"Do you want to stay at my place?" Angus ask me as we are walking out to our waiting limo
"I would but I haven't got a change of clothes and as much as I love wearing this dress I don't think I could sleep in it, plus I need to shower to wash off the hair spray and make up" I tell him
"You left your overnight bag at my house Zoey from when we went to Del Sol Valley, remember you were meant to stay at my place after we flew home?" He reminds me, I know what I packed in that bag too, a nightdress, change of underwear and change of clothing, it's enough to get me by tonight.
"I can stay, do you have a hair dryer?" I ask
"Immie would" he says, smiling that he won me over.
I tell Tess that I'm getting out with Angus and she gets excited.
"Calm down, it doesn't mean anything he just wants to be friends" I tell her but I must admit I'm secretly hoping it does mean we are back together.

Angus opens the door to his apartment, throws his keys on the bar, turns around and picks me up, spinning me around.
"I had a blast tonight Zoey, thank you for inviting me" He says and he places me back down, big smile crossing his face
"Shh, you'll wake your sister up" I try to get him to bring his voice down
"She's not home, she had a date with Justin tonight, he finally made a move about a month ago and they have really loud sex all over the apartment, it's very disturbing" He laughs
"Must be a family trait" I laugh back
"What is? The loud sex? I'm not loud Zoey, you know that" He say confused
"No but you do like to do it all over the apartment" I tell him and he winks at me
"You loved it baby" The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, "Sorry Zoey, not allowed to call you baby, or Princess" He says looking away from me
"I think it's time we put this fight to bed once and for all, we both said things and hurt each other and we knowledge that, lets put it behind us and not keep using it against each other" I just want to forget about our bad patch and get back to being what we were.
"There's certain aspects of that day that I can't just forget Zoey, I want to but I'm not ready to yet" He explains and now everything feels awkward.
"I need to get out of this dress and my shoes are killing my feet" I say to break the tension. He tuns his back and knees down
"Jump on my back, I'll carry you up the stairs" He orders me
"No, Im way too heavy" I protest
"As if you are Zoey, you'd be 55 kilos if that" He takes a guess
"Im 53 kilos thank you" I correct him, pulling up my dress above my knees and climbing on his back.
"Hold on tight Princess" He says and stands up, we both giggle like school kids as he carries me up the stairs and into his bedroom, he kneels down at the foot of the bed and I jump off him, he sits on the bed and balances me as I attempt to remove my shoes but I think I may be more tipsy from drinking the punch than I first thought, he holds me up with one arm behind my back, lifting one foot with his free hand and slipping it off with ease, I put my leg back down and raise the other one up to him and he does the same trick.
"How the fuck you undress yourself without me around is a mystery Miss Green" He laughs, looking me in the eye and placing my fringe behind my ear, this is it, this is the moment I've been waiting for, the sign, I place my hands on the sides of his face and slowly move in for the kiss, "Zoey, I can't do this" He says, stopping me.
"I should go shower" I say breaking free of his hold and walking off to the bathroom. Stupid Zoey, throwing herself at a man who doesn't even want her, reading signals that aunt even being sent, I'm an idiot, he made it so clear he just wants to be friends and here I am wanting to kiss the guy. He's right, I need to move on.

I unzip my dress and turn the water on, take off my underwear and climb into the shower, I've had an amazing night and now I've ruined it and all I can do is feel myself fall apart under the stream of water. I wash my hair with his shampoo to get the hairspray out and condition it to remove the knots. I turn the water off and climb out, I didn't even notice he had been in and brought me two towels and Imogen's hair dryer. I dry my hair off and wrap a towel around myself to sheepishly face him again.
"Umm I have no idea where I put that bag" I tell him, stand there in a towel, shame on my face
"I moved it to the closet, I'll grab it for you" I says, trying not to look at me, he hands me my bag and I slip back into the bathroom to change into my sleepwear.
"Do you want a drink Zoey?" He calls out to me
"Yes please" 
"I only have rum and coke, is that ok?"
"Yeah, that's fine"
I exit the bathroom and join him in the kitchen where he is preparing our drinks, he smiles when he sees me
"Feel better gorgeous?" He asks hugging me
"Yeah, I'm sorry I misread the situation and I ruined the night" I apologise
"You didn't ruin anything or misread it, I was flirting with you, I have been all night but when you went to kiss me I just couldn't. I can't be with you Zoey, I'm too scared to be with you" He explains
"Scared of what?" I question him
"That I'll hurt you and you'll leave me, I can't go through that again" He tells me and I feel terrible
"I fucked this up didn't I?" I cry
"We both did baby" He says, tears in his eyes

Daylight

Monday afternoon I stepped foot back into the gym after my 3 month absence, I was greeted with a hug by Annabelle when I walked in the door.
"Welcome back beautiful" She says excited, "I'll call Angus to let him know his group is here", she picks up the phone and dials his number, he comes out from his office within seconds of her call, smug smile spread across his face.
"I have to admit, I didn't think you'd come back" He greets me before turning his attention to Declan, Tess and Cassie, "Go warm up, we won't be long" He instructs them and they run off to the mats.
"I'm not going to give you any special treatment Zoey, you've got a lot of catching up to do" He tells me coldly
"I could be at home right now but I choose to come here today but if you're going to use your platform as my trainer to punish me for our personal relationship then I will leave" I warn him and he looks at me floored.
"Zoey you made a commitment to the gym and you haven't been here for 3 months, I'm treating you like any other client who skips out on training, it's nothing personal I promise you but I am required to ask you why you have been absent so we can add it to our feedback and try and improve" He explains, dropping his cold tone and adopting a professional one, if he wants feedback I'll give it to him.
"I fucked my trainer, who happened to be my boyfriend and then I broke up with him because he was an ass who kept secrets, he also made a comment about sleeping with my twin sister who is also his client. Can I go warm up now?" I hit him with my truth
"Go" He yells at me, I clearly struck a nerve. I run off to join the others.

We did a half hour of normal training and then an hour of boxercising. I feel like death half way through one from the intense workout and two from watching Angus flirt with some petite brunette that I don't remember seeing here before. I think I may vomit, I can feel it gurgling inside of me, this is just all too much.
"I'm going to be sick, I'll meet you after class out the front" I announce to Tess and I run off to the bathroom. I sit on the cool floor in front of the toilet, trying to stop my head from spinning. I use to be able to do this, I was good at this and now I'm have my head in the toilet looking at what I had for lunch. Once I know I'm done throwing up I grab my clothes from my locker and go shower. Is this why he wanted me to come back here? So he could flirt with girls in front of me? I should have stayed home.

I walk out of the showers as Tess and Cassie are walking in, they both hug me.
"He's waiting for you out there" Cassie warns me and I feel a wave of nausea come over me again but I have nothing else to throw up, I have to go face the music, I walk out to wear he's waiting, head hung low in shame.
"You OK?" He asks, almost sounding concerned, I could lie to him and say yes or tell him the truth, I decide to go with the truth
"I threw up" I admit
"You're out of practice" He acknowledges, I don't add in that I watched him flirting, "Lets get you some water" He says walking me back to the front desk where he pulls out a bottle of water from the mini fridge and hands it over
"Thank you" I say, taking it from him and drink it slowly, "Theres a few new people in your class now" I hint
"Yeah there is, always happens as we get closer to Summer, we get an influx of new clients" He explains, "You did good today Zoey, you should be proud" He praises me, smiling brightly, it's the first time I've seen the bright smile again and I feel my heart melt. I want to kiss him but I'm not allowed to any more, I threw away that right 3 months ago. 
"I just need to get back up to where I was before" I tell him fiercely.
"You will get there Zoey, you did it once before and you can do it again, it's just going to take time but I'll work on it with you" He says having faith in me and I smile at him. I see the brunette from boxercise walking towards us, she's staring me down like I've stollen her toy.
"Hey Angus, my Mum wants to know if you can come for dinner on Saturday night, she's cooking a lamb roast and promised there will be lots of green vegetables for you" She says smiling at him
"Sounds good, what time?" He asks her
"Around 6?" she suggests waving goodbye to him, he watches her leave with a big smile on his face
"Your girlfriend is pretty" I tell him, breaking his trance
"My girlfriend?" He asks confused
"The girl who just asked you to dinner, she seems nice and it's good that she's feeding you considering you can't cook" I say and he bursts out laughing
"That's my cousin Zoey, that's really gross that you thought she was my girlfriend" He laughs
"In my defence you were flirting with her" I laugh
"I was being friendly to her, you really have no idea what flirting looks like do you?" He asks and I smile at him relieved. Tess, Declan and Cassie met up with us at the desk.
"She better not be sore tomorrow Angus, that would ruin formal for her" Tess says and I see them do a secret pinky swear thing
"Hydrate and stretch Zoey" Angus tells me and I smile at him.
We say our goodbyes
"I'll see you Wednesday" I say to Angus
"Welcome back Zoey" He replies

We are never getting back together

I arrived at the vets early Friday morning, it washy last day of work experience and I was sad that it was going to be over, even with all the drama fromWednesday afternoon I still had an amazing time and learnt so much and I know that this is what I want to do with my life.
Dr Charlotte greets me warmly when I walk in the door.
"Morning Zoey, I'm a bit sad that it's your last day today but I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come work here part time next year?" She offers with a smile on her face
"I would love that, thank you" I accept
"Awesome, come see me in the new year and we will organise it once you know your Uni schedule"she tells me, "Oh and before I forget Stephanie Washington is coming back in this afternoon, she's collecting her dog's urn. She asked to time it with when you finish because she wants to take you out for coffee to show her appreciation for the comfort you gave her" She springs this on me and my nerves go into overdrive, why does she want to see me? Is she coming alone? Maybe she's going to tell me they broke up? Maybe she's going to give me in-depth details about how much sex they've been having now that I'm out of the picture?
"Is her boyfriend coming with her too?" I ask Dr Charlotte
"She didn't say. I told her 2pm, is that ok with you?" Dr Charlotte replies as she looks over the day's schedule, she doesn't see the panic on my face.

2pm takes forever to come around and the knot in my stomach is getting bigger and bigger. I'm a ball of nerves when I see Steph walk in at 2, she greets me with a hug and I'm somewhat relieved to see she's alone this time. Dr Charlotte comes out to hand over the urn and I see Steph's face turn from happy to sad in an instant, I put my arm around her shoulders.
"Thank you Zoey" She whispers to me, "Let's go get coffee"

We walk to the cafe across the road, order 2 coffees and find a table to sit at.
"You're such a sweet girl Zoey" She tells me when we sit down
"Thank you, I just felt so heartbroken for you on Wednesday, well for you and your boyfriend" Take her hand and give it a squeeze
"Ex boyfriend actually, we shared the dog when we were together and when she got sick I reached out to him because I thought he should know and she just kept getting worse and I feel so bad that I had to lean on him so much. I'm so sorry Zoey" She says, looking me in the eye.
"He told you who I was?" I ask her surprised 
"He told me everything yesterday, Zoey we are not together and I don't want him back I promise you. Angus and I had a very toxic relationship, we kept hurting each other because we both couldn't just break up with the other one, it should of ended when we were in school honestly and he knows that too. We work great as friends though" She explains to me and I feel like such an idiot but it still doesn't excuse the fact that he kept secrets from me.
"Why did he hide the phone calls though?" I ask her
"Because he's an idiot" She laughs, "He thought that by keeping it from you that you wouldn't worry that he was cheating on you, I kept telling him that that was the most stupidest plan ever and any girl sees her boyfriend is receiving calls from his ex and he's hiding it is instantly going to think that he's cheating"
"So he really didn't cheat?" I say in a small voice
"No sweetie he didn't, he loves you, he came to my house the after you dumped him at the airport, he was in tears Zoey, I've never seen Angus cry except for when his parents died, he kept saying how he had fucked it all up, how he wasn't allowed to call you anymore or see you ever again. I kept telling him to go make things right, to explain everything to you. I didn't even know your name, he wouldn't tell me anything about you because he was so afraid I'd come looking for you" She squeezes my hand
"Why wouldn't he come tell me himself? I wanted him to show up at my house every day since I let him go, I wanted him to tell me that I was wrong."  I cry
"He said he tried in Del Sol Valley but you wouldn't listen to him" She tells me and I feel so guilty, he did try and I shut him out. I feel like complete shit.
"I miss him Steph, I wanted to call him so many times but I just couldn't, I kept thinking that he was with you and it was best if I just stepped aside" I break down.
"We are going to The Stargazer tonight, Happier is playing, Angus will be there as well as Tess, who I've now learnt is your sister, she's a cool chick. Anyway you should join us, I've just got to take this urn home and get changed" She suggests and that knot forms in my stomach again, I want to see him but I'm so scared too.
"I'll have to change too, I can't wear this" I tell her
"I have the perfect dress for you, I made it last week" She offers
"You make clothes?" I say surprised, I know nothing about Steph outside of what Angus has told me
"I'm a fashion designer for CAS clothing, I create unique custom content clothing" She informs me.

We walk to Steph's house, a small place not too far from my own, she places the urn on the mantle above the fire. I look around the room and see pictures of her and Annabelle, I forgot they were friends. She goes into a room and brings out a red velvet dress, it's absolutely beautiful and it's my size too. 
"Go try it on" She urges me and I slip into her bathroom, it fits me like a glove, I walk out to show her and she claps her hands with joy
"Now make up and hair to complete the package" She says excited, I let her work her magic on me and when she's done I almost don't recognise myself, she's played up every feature I have on my face.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask her, I feel like I'm not deserving of such attention.
"Because you were so sweet to me on Wednesday and I feel partly to blame for your break up" She explains hugging me, "You're my friend now Zoey, that's going to piss Angus off I'm sure, his two ex's becoming friends" We both laugh at that thought.

We catch an Uber to The Stargazer around 7, the place is already pumping when we arrive and I feel those nerves start to kick in. We scan the room for where the others are sitting and see Annabelle, Molly and Tess at a table near the dance floor, I feel a bit at ease to approach the table knowing Angus isn't there, I'm still not sure if I'm ready to face him. 
"Zoey you're here and you look amazing" Tess cries out
"Thanks, Steph made the dress" I tell her, twirling around
"Fits her so good doesn't it? I'm calling it the 'How I got my ex boyfriend back' dress" Steph announces to the group and that's when I see him walking up to the table, my heart jumps up into my throat, why does he have to look so gorgeous, surely he could have a day where he just looks like trash? That would help with my nerves right now. He pulls Steph in for a hug, not noticing that I'm standing right next to her.
"How you feeling today?" He asks her with a concerned look
"It was tough picking up the urn but I had a comforting friend there to help me through" She tells him
"You saw Zoey again?" He questions her, "How was she?"
"Why don't you ask her?" Steph says, motioning to me and I watch his expression change from concern for Steph to absolute shock when his eyes rest on me.
"Why are you here?" He asks me as if I have no place stepping inside The Stargazer, he got this place in the break up and I'm breaking the rules being here
"Steph invited me, She said 'Happier' were playing tonight" I tell him, my voice shaking
"I'm going to the bar" He tells Steph and he storms off. I wasn't expecting him to be angry.
"Should I go talk to him?" I ask Steph and she nods.

Angus is sitting at the bar, nursing a beer, his face is stormy and I'm scared to approach him but I feel that only I can fix this now.
"Hey" I say, taking the seat next to him, the mixologist approaches me and I order a drink. Angus finally looks up from his drink once mine is place in front of me.
"She's on my tab" He tells the mixologist and she nods and walks away
"You didn't have to do that you know? I don't expect you to pay for my drink." I tell him, pulling money out of my bag and sliding it over to him.
"I don't need your money Zoey" He says, flicking it back to me, I put it back in my bag, "Why are you here?" He asks me again
"Steph and I had coffee this afternoon, we had a really good talk and she cleared some things up for me" I explain
"And what did she clear up for you Zoey? The fact that I'm not the cheating asshole you accused me of being?" His tone is angry but he's not yelling at me.
"I got it wrong and I'm sorry" I can feel my eyes starting to well up, I stare up at the lights hoping the brightness will stop the tears, I don't want to ruin the great job Steph did doing my make up.
"So she pretty much told you the exact same thing I had told you 3 months ago except when I did it I getting fucking left at the airport and she gets to play dress ups with her new best friend and I'm sure you both bonded over how shit I am too" He says, throwing down the last bit of his beer.
"I don't think you're shit Angus, I was angry at you for keeping secrets from me but I never said you were shit, you were a good boyfriend" I tell him, hoping to soften his mood
"I was the bad boyfriend who got cheated on and then I was the good boyfriend who gets dumped, I can't win" He scowls, skipping over the fact that he kept a secret from me.
"I miss you Angus" I say, reaching across to touch his arm.
"And who's fault is that Zoey? If you didn't break up with me then you wouldn't be sitting here telling me that you miss me" He pulls away from my touch
"If you had just been honest with me about the calls and seeing her I wouldn't of broken up with you and we'd still be together" I fire back
"Sure we would be, you would of look for another excuse to end us anyway. You didn't want to be with me Zoey, you just wanted a boyfriend and I just happened to make a move" He accuses me
"I kissed you Angus, that first night we were here together, I made that move first" I remind him
"Yeah and only after I had made it abundantly clear that I was into you. I could have been any guy, you would of just jumped at the chance to have someone shower you with attention or maybe it was that you wanted to get rid of your virginity before going to Uni next year, now you can fuck a whole frat house and have meaningless casual sex" He yells at me.
"Why are you trying to hurt me?" I ask, fighting back the tears but they start falling down my cheeks
"Because you cut me out of your life like I meant nothing to you, 3 months of nothing and then you show up here and want to act like you think we will be all good" He explains, "Did you think I'd just want you back because you put on a dress and some make up? Did you really think I'd forget that you just abandoned me?" He questions me
"I wasn't thinking we'd get back together, I don't even know if I want to" I admit
"What do you want from me Zoey? I gave you the world and you threw it back at me" He says wounded
"We could be friends?" I suggest, I just want him back in my life.
"And how do you think that would work? We hang out together? We see movies and eat meals?" He asks but I can tell he's mocking the idea, he doesn't want me in his life and I'm just wasting my time trying. I finish my drink, grab my bag and get up to leave, I feel deflated and punished, "Are you walking away?" He asks me
"I think I should, I didn't come here to ruin your night and I don't like the way you're speaking to me, I don't feel that I have to just sit there and be belittled by someone who can't admit their own fault in this" I explain to him but I'm unable to move, he has me locked in his gaze.
"This is who you are Zoey, when things get hard you look for an exit, you did it to me the first time you left and I chased after you" He reminds me and I sit back down, he's right, any bit of conflict and I leave. He orders another drink, a Rum and Coke this time and a Vodka soda for me.
"I don't like fighting" I explain
"Nobody likes fighting Zoey but you can't just bolt each time a conflict arises" His tone has soften, almost comforting, "I had all these plans for us, I wanted to live with you next year which, for me, is a pretty big step considering the last person I wanted to live with decided to fuck my best friend" He looks at me with such pain
"Angus I wanted that too, I wanted to be with you but just you" I tell him and he looks at me confused
"I wanted to be with just you too" He replies
"I felt like everything I did with you was constantly being compared to Steph, she did it this way or she did that, it felt like I was in a relationship with you and her and I wanted to be the first at something, like you were for me. I had no one to compare you to and I liked that, you were my first everything, my first boyfriend, my first lover, the first guy I ever gave my heart to and it broke me to lose you. So many times I wanted to call you or tell you about something funny that happened that day and I couldn't because I had set you free, I stepped aside" I say, crying into my drink.
"You could have contacted me Zoey" He tells me
"You could of contacted me too Angus but you let me walk away" I tell him
"You told me not to contact you, you were pretty direct about that remember?" He reminds me and I feel this guilty pain stab at my heart, I had told him to never contact me again. I don't want to beg him for friendship though, I don't want it to feel forced.
"If I could back to that day and change it I would, in a heartbeat, I regret so much now" I let the guilt wash over me as he sits there drinking his rum, I don't even think he cares that I'm upset though.
"I'm going to go home" He announces as he finishes his drink
"Ok" I reply completely deflated, I should have stayed home, then no one would of had their night ruined
"Do you want to come?" He asks in all honesty
"Are you going to belittle me more and make me feel like shit?" I ask
"I wasn't planning on it, I have something of yours at my house that you may need next week" He explain and I know instantly that he is referring to my formal dress, the one he bought for me.
"You still have that?" I say surprised
"Well what was I going to do with it Zoey? It's yours, it has always been yours and You deserve it back so you can wear it on Tuesday night" He remembered when the formal was, or Tess and Cassie reminded him
"I don't even know if I'll go" I tell him
"Why would you not go?" He asks, shocked
"Because Tess has Declan and Cassie and Sam are on the verge of getting together, they've had a few dates now that school is done and she's made her feelings known and I'll be like this giant fifth wheel who just sits alone and drinks the the fruit punch and doesn't dance" I tell him, I now I sound pathetic, so many girls will be alone that night and will still be having fun.
"Well I still need you to take the dress because it's taking up room in my closet and I need it gone" He says, standing up to leave.
"Fine, I will come and get it now if that will make you happy" I too stand up and start walking towards the exit.

The air outside is warm with a light breeze, perfect October weather and such a vast difference from the last time I was doing this walk to his apartment. He walks at a faster pace than me, always staying 4 steps in front and I almost feel like I have to jog to keep up. I'm so unfit now, 3 months without cardio and I've forgotten how to run. He reaches the elevator before me and groans that he had to hold the door open so I could catch up. He opens the door to his apartment and all the memories flood back in, he throws his keys on the bar, just like he did when I was here before and starts making his way up the stairs but stops when hears his name being called from the bedroom on the bottom floor
"Angus?" A sweet sounding voice calls out
"Yeah it's me, I came home early" He calls back, reversing his original path up the stairs and walks over to the bedroom, I don't know it I should follow him or just wait near the bar. 
"What happened?" The voice asks concerned
"Long story but I brought someone home" He tells her
"You didn't? Angus it's one thing for you to be going out and getting wasted to forget her but bringing home random girls from the bar is sleazy and disgusting, have some respect for yourself and for that poor girl who is no doubt just standing out there waiting for you" She chastises him
"Come meet her" He coaxes her out of the room and I see that she is a beautiful blonde woman, around 40 but has kept herself in great shape and looks amazing.
"I'm so sorry for my brother, he's not himself lately and he shouldn't have brought you here to disrespect you" She apologises and I realise that this is Imogen
"Immie this is Zoey" He laughs
"This is Zoey? The Zoey?" She questions him and he nods, "I'm so sorry sweetie, I thought you were just some girl he picked up at the bar, I raised him better than to be a manwhore. You're pretty, he said you were pretty but now I'm seeing it for myself" Imogen says, embracing me in a giant, warm hug
"Immie loves getting all parental on me" Angus explains to me, his mood has lifted a lot.
"Well if I didn't you would of been out there impregnating half of San Myshuno like Caleb does" She pokes him in the ribs laughing, "Oh Zoey, it's so good to finally meet you, you were all he would talk about when I was away" She says, hugging me again, I'm so surprised that she's being so warm and inviting to me considering Angus says I abandoned him and Steph says I broke him.
"Zoey is here for her formal dress" Angus tells Imogen
"Oh you must be so excited for formal. I remember my formal like it was yesterday, I went with your step dad Don, we danced all night and I lost my virginity that night...which is more information than either of you ever wanted to know" She says blushing and I have to stifle a giggle.
"Thanks for that image" Angus tells her, running off up the stairs, I walk slowly behind him.
"Do you want a snack?" Imogen calls out to us
"Only if you're making it anyway" I hear him call back and she joins me on the stairs, we reach the top, I head towards his bedroom and she goes to the kitchen. Angus has already pulled the box with my dress inside out of his closet by the time I get into the room and has placed it on his bed.
"Thank you again for keeping it" I say, I feel like I should hug him to show gratitude but I don't think he would very welcoming to the idea of me touching him ever again
"Like I said, it's taking up room and I need it gone" He say coldly, yep, not open to a hug. 

Imogen appears in the doorway, strawberries and cream in hand.
"Let's eat" She says, ushering us to the dining table. We sit in silence for a while, enjoying the strawberries dipped in cream until she breaks the ice, "You must be relieved to be finished school now Zoey?" She asks me and Angus looks at me as if he's only just realised I'm finally finished 
"Oh yeah, the exams were so stressful but I studied hard leading up to them and I think I did well, I won't know for certain until December when they release the results" I tell her
"And Angus said you were doing work experience at the vets near your house, how did that go?" She pushes on with her questioning as he sit there eating his strawberries but listening to my every word
"I loved it, Dr Charlotte said I did really good, that I showed kindness and compassion and she offered me part time work for next year once I find out my uni schedule so I'm really happy with that" I explain.
"Yeah, Angus said you were so sweet to Steph on Thursday, that poor girl, what a nightmare, having to put her dog down" Imogen says sadly
"Nortica was my dog too" Angus interjects 
"I know she was and I feel bad for you too Gus" she says, taking his hand 
"I'm sorry too Angus, about Nortica, I know how much you missed her and how sad you got when we saw 'Lost Dogs Journey Home'" I reach across the table to take his other hand but he pulls it away, Imogen sees it all and she gives him a stern look, he reaches his hand across the table and gabs mine in his
"Sorry Zoey" He mumbles his fake apology, like a kid on the playground who has been forced into it

It's getting late when i announce I should be going, I have no idea how I'm going to take my dress on the train or how I'm even going to manage to get to the station in the dark.
"Gus when was your last drink?" Imgon quizzes him
"2 hours ago, I had a rum and coke and a light beer tonight, I swear that's all I've had Immie" He tells her like he's going to get into trouble for drinking
"You should be right to drive, take Zoey home" She demands
"I'm ok to catch the train"I plead with her
"Ugh no you're not Zoey, I told you so many times that the train isn't safe this time of night, go get your dress and I'll drop you home" He says annoyed but I do as he asks and we leave together in his car. We travel in silence the whole way, me looking out the window at the trees coming into bloom for spring and he doesn't try to touch my knee or grab my hand. We reach my house and he he carries the box with my dress inside to the door and lingers for a moment.
"Thank you for bringing me home Angus" I tell him
"If you had been murdered on the train then Tess would never of let me hear the end of it" He says coldly and we stand there again in awkward silence.
"Well Goodnight" I say after a minute
"Night Zoey, I'll see you Monday afternoon"
"Monday afternoon?"
"For training and don't think that I'm going to go easy on you because you didn't show up for 3 months either" H warns me before turning around and walking back to his car