"Morning gorgeous" Angus greets me as I stir from my deep sleep, my body sprawled across his own, my head lay on his chest, hand on his torso.
"You're still here" I state, I don't think I've ever woken up with him next to me before, it's a first.
"It's my bed, where else would I be?" He laughs
"Running, reading in your garden, you never stay in bed with me" I tell him
"I took it for granted before, getting to wake up with you beside me and now I may never get the opportunity to do it again so I'm savouring it" He explains and it hits me that this will be our last time together in this bed and there's nothing I can do about it. I close my eyes and listen to his heart beat, it feels good to just lay here and not have the stress of school, exams or secret phone calls, I can just relax and then I realise that it's Wednesday.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" I ask him
"I took the day off, Immie is there to run things and Justin can take my classes, I'll go in this afternoon for group but I want to spend some time with you" He says, running his fingers through my hair, I could stay like this forever.
There's a knock at his bedroom door
"Gus are you home?" Imogen calls through the door
"Yeah Immie. come in" He invites her, the door swings open and she walks in, sees me in his bed and smiles brightly at me.
"So the formal went well I see" She says to him
"We had the best night, I danced with the most beautiful girl and she went off at Landgaarb because he was a dick to me" He laughs
"It's about time someone gave that little weasel a good serving, I hate him and what he did to you Gus, stupid little man holding a grudge. His fucking son got caught smuggling drugs over the boarder from Selvadorada 6 years ago and his daddy spent millions trying to fight his case but you smoke one joint and he destroys your whole education" She gets fired up
"That's pretty much what Zoey said to him" Angus states
"And that's why we love you Zoey" Imogen praises me, I look up at Angus who is giving Imogen the stare down, like she said the wrong thing but she doesn't care, she just keeps smiling, "I'm cooking breakfast if you two want any?" She asks
"Sounds good, we'll be out in a minute" He tells her
Imogen cooked us a grand breakfast of toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, mushrooms and orange juice, she places 3 boxes of cereal on the table.
"I wasn't sure what Zoey eats so I thought I'd put a bit of everything out" She explains
"Zoey eats anything except vegetables" Angus tells her laughing and it's true, "I, on the other hand only want strawberry jam, where is it?" He asks searching through the cupboards
"I couldn't find any, there's blackberry though and honey" Imogen suggests and he pulls a face at her of disgust
"Blackberry is gross and I don't want honey, I want strawberry jam. I bought some a while ago and put it on shelf in the cupboard" He tells her
"I don't know what to tell you Gus, sometimes you put something on a shelf thinking it will wait around for you until you decide you want it but someone else comes along and snaps it up and makes it feel loved again" She smiles at him and he stares her down.
"Imogen don't start with me about this, not again" He raises his voice
"Oh calm down Angus it's in the fridge" She laughs at him, he pulls the fridge open with force and finds the jam sitting in the door, opens it and spreads it on his toast. I can see he's frustrated by Imogen and I don't know how to fix it. He sits in silence eating his toast and when he's done he takes his plate to the kitchen and washes it.
"How was Justin?' He asks Imogen once he's calm
"He was good, we went for dinner in Newcrest and then went dancing, he's so sweet Gus, I can't believe I never knew he liked me, for years and he had to watch me go out with every other man that wasn't him and he just sat on the sidelines, holding his tongue when he should of just told me years ago and we could have been together" She tells him
"So what you're saying Imogen is that you didn't want Justin until he put it on the plate in front of you" Angus accused her
"I've never said this to you before but I have been in love with Justin since I was 21, I realised it when he was engaged and I didn't say anything because he was my best friend so I dated other men, trying to get over the love I had for him, I watched his marriage to Serena fall apart but I was with someone else and when that ended Justin was seeing Rachel. This is why I travel so much, because my heart was broken by a love I thought I'd never have, I never knew he felt the same and now I get to be in love with my best friend" She gushes and I smile at her, then smile at Angus but he's looking down at the floor, deep in thought.
"What did you want to do today?" I ask Angus after breakfast.
"Do you want to go to the lighthouse?" He suggests
"Yes, I've never been up there before" I tell him
"Are you joking Zoey, it's a boat ride from your house, you can see it from your back yard and you've never been up there?"He says shocked
"Well today is a first" I say
"For us both" He adds hugging me.
We drive out to Brindleton Bay and he parks out the front of my house, we walk down to the docks and catch the ferry across the bay. We walk from the docks, up the hill to the lighthouse where we meet the lighthouse keeper out front and he allows us inside to explore, we walk the spiral staircase until we reach the top and step outside, the air up here is cooler and windy but there's an amazing view of the whole bay area from up here.
"There's your house Princess" Angus points out, excited.
"It's so tiny, like a doll house but I can see my bedroom window" I tell him
"I should have come up here a few months ago and brought a telescope with me" Angus laughs
"To look at the stars?" I ask him
"To look in your bedroom, just so I could have seen you even though I couldn't be near you, although I think that would have been torture really." He explains
"I started driving further while we were apart, out of Brindleton Bay, I started out going to Oasis Springs, Then to Forgotten Hollow, Newcrest, Willow Creek until I felt confident to drive to San Myshuno. I'd drive there at night and sit out the front of your apartment. I wanted more than anything to just get out of the car, go up that elevator and knock on your door and see you again" I exclaim
"Why didn't you?" He asks, confused
"Because I had lost my claim on you, I gave you up and I didn't want to step on what I thought you had with Steph, I wanted nothing more than to be with you but I didn't want to be your second choice" I cry
"You were never my second choice Princess, you were my one and only" He says with a quiver in his voice, I take his hand in mine.
"I know that now but I didn't back then, when I didn't hear from you I assumed you and Steph were together and Tess would tell me she would join you at The Stargazer" I tell him
"Steph and I are friends, when she started calling me I was angry at her, I thought what you thought, that she was making a move to get me back because she had heard I moved on and I was having no part in her game, I was in love with you Zoey, no one could of stollen me from you but I lived in fear that you would leave me if you knew she had called so I hid it but she kept calling and I gave in and talked to her and as soon as she mentioned Nortica having cancer I knew I had to be there for her, for my dog. I had been working on a way to tell you, to explain what was going on because it was killing me keeping a secret from you Zoey, I loved you" He breaks down and I hold onto him.
"You don't love me anymore" I whisper, not to him, more to myself, he pulls back so he can look me in the eyes.
"It doesn't just go away Zoey, I'll always love you but right now it's a different level of love because I'm not allowing you fully in and I hate this, I hate that I can't just let my guard down and just kiss you because I'm dying to kiss you so much but I'm an asshole and I hurt you if I let you in and then you run and I can't go through that again, as much as this is hurting me too, to have you in my life and have to watch you move on with whoever comes next and it's going to rip my fucking heart out but it's easier than the nothingness I had for 3 months, I'll take having you in my life as friend only over never talking to you ever again. You're my best friend Zoey" He holds me tightly and buries his face in my neck
"You're still here" I state, I don't think I've ever woken up with him next to me before, it's a first.
"It's my bed, where else would I be?" He laughs
"Running, reading in your garden, you never stay in bed with me" I tell him
"I took it for granted before, getting to wake up with you beside me and now I may never get the opportunity to do it again so I'm savouring it" He explains and it hits me that this will be our last time together in this bed and there's nothing I can do about it. I close my eyes and listen to his heart beat, it feels good to just lay here and not have the stress of school, exams or secret phone calls, I can just relax and then I realise that it's Wednesday.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" I ask him
"I took the day off, Immie is there to run things and Justin can take my classes, I'll go in this afternoon for group but I want to spend some time with you" He says, running his fingers through my hair, I could stay like this forever.
There's a knock at his bedroom door
"Gus are you home?" Imogen calls through the door
"Yeah Immie. come in" He invites her, the door swings open and she walks in, sees me in his bed and smiles brightly at me.
"So the formal went well I see" She says to him
"We had the best night, I danced with the most beautiful girl and she went off at Landgaarb because he was a dick to me" He laughs
"It's about time someone gave that little weasel a good serving, I hate him and what he did to you Gus, stupid little man holding a grudge. His fucking son got caught smuggling drugs over the boarder from Selvadorada 6 years ago and his daddy spent millions trying to fight his case but you smoke one joint and he destroys your whole education" She gets fired up
"That's pretty much what Zoey said to him" Angus states
"And that's why we love you Zoey" Imogen praises me, I look up at Angus who is giving Imogen the stare down, like she said the wrong thing but she doesn't care, she just keeps smiling, "I'm cooking breakfast if you two want any?" She asks
"Sounds good, we'll be out in a minute" He tells her
Imogen cooked us a grand breakfast of toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, mushrooms and orange juice, she places 3 boxes of cereal on the table.
"I wasn't sure what Zoey eats so I thought I'd put a bit of everything out" She explains
"Zoey eats anything except vegetables" Angus tells her laughing and it's true, "I, on the other hand only want strawberry jam, where is it?" He asks searching through the cupboards
"I couldn't find any, there's blackberry though and honey" Imogen suggests and he pulls a face at her of disgust
"Blackberry is gross and I don't want honey, I want strawberry jam. I bought some a while ago and put it on shelf in the cupboard" He tells her
"I don't know what to tell you Gus, sometimes you put something on a shelf thinking it will wait around for you until you decide you want it but someone else comes along and snaps it up and makes it feel loved again" She smiles at him and he stares her down.
"Imogen don't start with me about this, not again" He raises his voice
"Oh calm down Angus it's in the fridge" She laughs at him, he pulls the fridge open with force and finds the jam sitting in the door, opens it and spreads it on his toast. I can see he's frustrated by Imogen and I don't know how to fix it. He sits in silence eating his toast and when he's done he takes his plate to the kitchen and washes it.
"How was Justin?' He asks Imogen once he's calm
"He was good, we went for dinner in Newcrest and then went dancing, he's so sweet Gus, I can't believe I never knew he liked me, for years and he had to watch me go out with every other man that wasn't him and he just sat on the sidelines, holding his tongue when he should of just told me years ago and we could have been together" She tells him
"So what you're saying Imogen is that you didn't want Justin until he put it on the plate in front of you" Angus accused her
"I've never said this to you before but I have been in love with Justin since I was 21, I realised it when he was engaged and I didn't say anything because he was my best friend so I dated other men, trying to get over the love I had for him, I watched his marriage to Serena fall apart but I was with someone else and when that ended Justin was seeing Rachel. This is why I travel so much, because my heart was broken by a love I thought I'd never have, I never knew he felt the same and now I get to be in love with my best friend" She gushes and I smile at her, then smile at Angus but he's looking down at the floor, deep in thought.
"What did you want to do today?" I ask Angus after breakfast.
"Do you want to go to the lighthouse?" He suggests
"Yes, I've never been up there before" I tell him
"Are you joking Zoey, it's a boat ride from your house, you can see it from your back yard and you've never been up there?"He says shocked
"Well today is a first" I say
"For us both" He adds hugging me.
We drive out to Brindleton Bay and he parks out the front of my house, we walk down to the docks and catch the ferry across the bay. We walk from the docks, up the hill to the lighthouse where we meet the lighthouse keeper out front and he allows us inside to explore, we walk the spiral staircase until we reach the top and step outside, the air up here is cooler and windy but there's an amazing view of the whole bay area from up here.
"There's your house Princess" Angus points out, excited.
"It's so tiny, like a doll house but I can see my bedroom window" I tell him
"I should have come up here a few months ago and brought a telescope with me" Angus laughs
"To look at the stars?" I ask him
"To look in your bedroom, just so I could have seen you even though I couldn't be near you, although I think that would have been torture really." He explains
"I started driving further while we were apart, out of Brindleton Bay, I started out going to Oasis Springs, Then to Forgotten Hollow, Newcrest, Willow Creek until I felt confident to drive to San Myshuno. I'd drive there at night and sit out the front of your apartment. I wanted more than anything to just get out of the car, go up that elevator and knock on your door and see you again" I exclaim
"Why didn't you?" He asks, confused
"Because I had lost my claim on you, I gave you up and I didn't want to step on what I thought you had with Steph, I wanted nothing more than to be with you but I didn't want to be your second choice" I cry
"You were never my second choice Princess, you were my one and only" He says with a quiver in his voice, I take his hand in mine.
"I know that now but I didn't back then, when I didn't hear from you I assumed you and Steph were together and Tess would tell me she would join you at The Stargazer" I tell him
"Steph and I are friends, when she started calling me I was angry at her, I thought what you thought, that she was making a move to get me back because she had heard I moved on and I was having no part in her game, I was in love with you Zoey, no one could of stollen me from you but I lived in fear that you would leave me if you knew she had called so I hid it but she kept calling and I gave in and talked to her and as soon as she mentioned Nortica having cancer I knew I had to be there for her, for my dog. I had been working on a way to tell you, to explain what was going on because it was killing me keeping a secret from you Zoey, I loved you" He breaks down and I hold onto him.
"You don't love me anymore" I whisper, not to him, more to myself, he pulls back so he can look me in the eyes.
"It doesn't just go away Zoey, I'll always love you but right now it's a different level of love because I'm not allowing you fully in and I hate this, I hate that I can't just let my guard down and just kiss you because I'm dying to kiss you so much but I'm an asshole and I hurt you if I let you in and then you run and I can't go through that again, as much as this is hurting me too, to have you in my life and have to watch you move on with whoever comes next and it's going to rip my fucking heart out but it's easier than the nothingness I had for 3 months, I'll take having you in my life as friend only over never talking to you ever again. You're my best friend Zoey" He holds me tightly and buries his face in my neck
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